Not in Love
by Cirronian de Bergerac
Summary: Mel realizes she has fallen for Cole, now what is she going to do. Semi spoiling for episode Love, Cirroninan Style


I don't own anything… no characters, no concepts, no nothin… well I guess the cardboard box I sleep in could be considered mine. Song by 10cc don't own it either, just love it. What follows are the simple drabbles & daydreams of a wayward mind. Unbeta'd too.  
  
1.1 I'm not in love, so don't forget it. It's just a silly phase I'm goin through.  
  
1.2  
  
The words hit Mel like a blow to her chest and she quickly reached over & pulled the plug from the juke box.  
  
Breathing hard, she wrapped her arms around herself. "I am not in love with Cole. I can't be. Oh God!' She sat down in the darkened bar.  
  
Cole had gone out after the last customer had left. Something he had to check out he said.  
  
He hadn't asked her to come with him.  
  
Since their return from the retreat they had both been walking on eggshells around each other.  
  
Before the trip Cole had been such a toucher. A caress of her throat in reassurance, a gentle grasp of her wrist to redirect her attention to something. Him standing so close that she could smell the clean scent of his big body, could feel his heat.  
  
Now. Nothing. She felt abandoned, bereft, as if something infinitely precious had been lost.  
  
When Rod had disappeared, she had walked around in a haze of anger and grief for nearly a year. The fear for him after the police said his partner had been killed had left her desolate. As the time passed her hope had faded. Her heart had been numb.  
  
Mel winced inwardly, recalling her attempts to find someone else. The jerks and users she had met. She had given up after awhile, resigning herself to being alone.  
  
Then her Grandmother died, leaving her the Watchfire, and suddenly there was Jess bringing a touch of sunshine into her life. Watching the vibrant young woman throw herself headlong into life had dragged her out of her self-containment. Dating Vic & learning to trust again. Finding out she could still care.  
  
Brushing the hair back from her face, Mel sighed. Just as she was getting her footing, fate had dropped Cole on her. The atomic bomb could not have had more affect on her life.  
  
What do you do with a mostly naked, possibly mentally impaired, extremely gorgeous man you pick up on the side of the road?  
  
Even in those first hours, as Cole quickly learned and became less helpless, Mel had felt something for him. Finding out the truth, that he was a different species hadn't stopped those feelings from developing. Now the feelings were deeper than ever.  
  
Impossible to keep him and impossible not to care for him. So many things she didn't know about him and shouldn't want to know. Cole was an alien, no matter the gorgeous human form he wore.  
  
Yet, what they had shared in that kiss went beyond species, it had gone soul deep. Heating her entire being. Not just lust. She knew lust. Lust was a wonderful, dizzying riptide of physical need. The frenzy of bodies wet and hot in the drive for satisfaction.  
  
Mel shuddered, breasts taut and aching, skin becoming a ripple of gooseflesh at the mental image of being in such an embrace with Cole.  
  
Dropping her head to the bar in front of her, the image faded slowly, replaced by limpid brown eyes, their corners creased with anxiety over her wounded knuckles. Large, gentle palms clasping her hand as the warmth of his energy healed her. A montage of images, Cole imitating her 3 point trash shot, his tender care of the homeless child Tina.  
  
And then the vision of Cole hanging from chains, his life being drained from him crushed her. Taking away her breath.  
  
He had almost died, distracted by her.  
  
The convicts had almost been released again, because of her.  
  
And worst of all, the pain and confusion in Cole's beautiful eyes, because of her.  
  
Taking a deep breath Mel lifted her head from the counter top blindly using both hands to wipe away the tears from her cheeks, resolving to love and help Cole without burdening him with her feelings. To be his true partner in all ways except one. It would be the hardest thing she had ever done. But she would do it.  
  
Standing up Mel turned to go upstairs and came face-to-face with Cole.  
  
His eyes were as wet as hers.  
  
His face as set with resolve as hers.  
  
His heart as wounded as hers.  
  
No words were spoken as their souls grieved for what could never be. Acknowledging their feelings one last time.  
  
And he lifted one hesitant hand to her heart.  
  
They stood, in the silence, in the dark……… and trembled.  
  
Mel lifted Cole's hand to her lips and pressed a kiss to his palm. Her eyes closing against the open need on his face.  
  
Letting go, she turned and walked up to her room, leaving her heart clasped in the closed fist Cole held to his chest. 


End file.
